How does one “jam” a “Jem”? What is the true “Jem Jam”?

Both questions, inextricably intertwined, have plagued philosophers for, quite literally, millennia. Even humanity’s most modern and sophisticated of computers simply shut down when trying to interface with even one element of the idea.

And yet, while the annals of history are marked by those brave (crazed?) enough to attempt to answer the query, does a true answer even exist?

Wasn’t the “Jem Jam” the friends we made along the way? Nay, the real “Jem Jam” was inside us all along.

Except it isn’t and no one in the real world really cares who or what a “Jem Jam” is aside from it maybe being the title to Jem and the Hologram’s twenty-third episode. But in the Jemisphere, where the universe revolves around the misadventures of a girl glam rock band, the “Jem Jam” is the event of the god-forsaken century.

(Note lower case “g” in “god” because we neo-Pagan like that. Equal representation for all celestial deities please! No special treatment. Time to get outta the way, Yaweh.)

For real, celebrities on celebrities come out of the woodwork for the Jem Jam. Even “mister lips and hips” himself (an actual quote from the episode) and a bunch of deranged soccer hooligans! We even get a celebrity cameo from the seventh ring of hell’s most high-profile demonic entity, the quadrupedal dragon snakes of everlasting torment! Truly, fun the for the whole family!